It Is Well With My Soul

As I was unloading the dishwasher this afternoon, I felt like singing this hymn. Here is the incredible story behind this hymn and the words in case you're interested. http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm

And here's the story and a video clip of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYP--c2LTfg

My girls are both asleep, and there is a tremendous amount of peace in my heart today. Yesterday, I was assaulted. It was an assault in my mind, but a real assault nevertheless. It took a phone call home and my mom to point out to me that I was being taken captive by fear and that I needed to stand against it as a spiritual assault. She was right. I hate how Satan likes to play mind games with us and gets us to think that there are real logical reasons for us think and behave as we are behaving. In my case there were a few fleas, and I got on the internet and totally freaked out about having a huge flea infestation. This on the end of a sad week- losing Bailey, my mom leaving- I am missing being around family, and my emotions are pretty raw right now. A friend reminded me that we are "shells of ourselves" after giving birth for the first 6 months. Anyway, I am back on track and trusting in my Source of help and strength, so I can say honestly, "It is well with my soul."

Though Satan should buffet,
though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul!

In Loving Memory of Bailey

Bailey didn't make it through the night at the vet's. D brought her home and we buried her in the garden that she loved to adventure out and explore in. My mom even carved a marker for the grave and we took flowers and put them there and thanked God for giving her to us. I know that all sounds melodramatic, but it has helped me deal with my sadness and feelings of guilt. It is still hard though. I cried through the verse of "Old MacDonald" with SA today when she wanted to sing "Old MacDonald had a kitty cat". I keep anticipating that I am going to see Bailey at the door or the kitchen window meowing to come in or out and then remembering that she is gone. I don't know what to do with the cat food that I just bought and it was hard to pass the pet aisle at the grocery store today.

College days, first job frustrations, and my parent's divorce, seminary days, dating D, marrying D, first pregnancy, first baby, moving to a foreign country, living in a foreign country while my husband travels, second pregnancy, second baby... These are all things Bailey was with me through. She was always there with me cuddling up close- in the good times and the hard times. I miss her. I don't know if kitty cats go to heaven, but I hope so. If they do, I know that Bailey is there.

A Sad Day

I can't sleep. Today (now yesterday) was a sad day. I feel guilty. My sweet kitty- friend for over 10 years now has had fleas. She would not stay out of the baby's bed. I put her out after catching her for the third time in the baby's bed. She cried to come in. I was trying to wait to let her in after I gave her a bath with flea shampoo. For the first time ever, two dogs came into our yard. They attacked her and I recovered her broken body from under the bushes and rushed her to the vet. The vet said that it looked like it was past an emergency. After an initial 5 minute diagnosis, she said thatBailey has a brain injury and a broken jaw. She wouldn't believe that it was dogs. She said it looked like Bailey had been hit by a car. I know that is was 2 dogs because I chased them out of the yard. She was lying on the steps outside the kitchen while I was making dinner and then 10 minutes later my mom saw the dogs in the yard. I never heard a bark or a meow. Bailey is at the vet's tonight and I am supposed to call in the morning. When I called las t night, the vet said that she had come out of "shock"(I think- it's all in French and I don't understand everything). The vet is not that nice and she doesn't speak English. She says that if she has brain damage that I need to "stop the pain" by having her euthanized. I can't write anymore. Would y'all please pray for Bailey and for me too?