When it rains, it pours. It feels as if we continue to go from one crisis to the next. For me it has been recurrent clogged ducts and mastitis, and for D, increasing pressure at work as he finishes out his assignment and last audit in France. This week we both dealt with a major plumbing problem which we had unsuccessfully tried to fix ourselves for a couple of weeks since we could not get a plumber to come. It was finally resolved this week after we physically worked with the plumber (and the sewage) for SIX hours on Tuesday! Quelle horreur! I will spare you all the gory details because it was pretty stinky and disgusting.
As I write, D has just left to take the car in for service and I am in bed with mastitis. It is the fifth incident of this problem since the beginning of July. Luckily the grandparents are here to help out with SA, because both of us are just about over the edge. We were supposed to leave for a weekend in Provence today but had to postpone it as the car needs service and I am sick. Last week I went to the doctor with similar symptoms after which she prescribed an ultrasound of the breast. Everything was fine by the time I had the ultrasound though and I thought I was home free until Thursday of this week when I came down with all the same symptoms and more. The worst part about it is that many doctors in France are not big proponents of breastfeeding. They recommend it to new mothers but do not really seem to be convinced of its importance after the first three months. Consequently, I have been advised to stop breastfeeding twice by my family doctor and once by a pharmicien simply because I have had some challenges. If I quit everything that was challenging, I certainly would not have been able to live in France for three years! Not only that, it would actually be harmful to stop breastfeeding at this point as it is very important to adequately drain the breast, but the doctors here do not seem to subscribe to this philosophy. Everything that I have read about the problems that I am having, says to absolutely NOT stop breastfeeding and that taking ibuprofen for the pain is absolutely safe for both me and CG. The doctors here do not agree. It seems that these are examples of differences between the mentality of the medical community of the US vs. France.
In addition, it is an example of the frustration of living between two worlds. I love living cross culturally, but in doing so, there is inevitably dissonance between the two cultures. How we deal with this dissonance determines what our experience will be. Taking the get mad approach does not help, but passive acceptance often seems a denial of our own beliefs, opinions, and values. The problem lies in a worldview difference. Worldview encompasses beliefs, opinions, and values. Worldview differences mean that we often assign different values to things. For example, the French value on time and money in the service sector is totally different from the American value of time and money. When entering a store in France it is not unusual to be kept waiting by a clerk who is chatting with a friend on their cell phone or in the store (i.e. time difference), and stores are not open at convenient times for working people to shop at night or on weekends and holidays (i.e. money difference). The value on time and money difference is easily recognizable and not so difficult to adjust to, but after three years, I am continually discovering more and more cultural and therefore worldview differences. Living in a new culture is like peeling an onion; there are always new layers to uncover and discover and assimilate to. This makes living cross culturally fun and exciting but also challenging and sometimes stressful.
Lately life has just been too much to handle when you add the cultural stress to the stress of everyday life. Sickness, plumbing problems and expenses, car problems and expenses, learning how to expand our family in a way in which everyone's needs are met, etc. We would appreciate your prayers.
