The Good vs. The Best

Lately we have fallen into the all too easy to slip into craziness of American living. One of the parts of living in France that I loved was the slower pace and the enjoyment of people and relationships. The time spent conversing around the table and over glasses of wine- I had begun to miss that as my very American family began to be involved in ever so many things. Last week I don't think we sat down to one meal together at home but had to grab food around town fitting dinnertime in between meetings and lessons. I had begun to prioritize time spent together around a meal but what do you do when good things begin to crowd your priorities out of the picture? Church on Wednesdays? Elder meetings? Ballet lessons? French lessons? Well, I decided to be the first one to take a stand against the craziness. I dropped my French class. This was not an easy decision to make as I really want to continue to learn French and especially to practice so that I don't forget what I have already learned. It was such a nice getaway, that French class... D would meet me in town and pick up the girls and I would stay for class all by myself! This is really a treat- to get to do something just for me without the kids. It was so nice to converse with adults about the regions of France and to practice my French with a real teacher who wasn't afraid to correct me. But this getaway contributed to the crazy pattern that had begun to steal away all of our time together as a family. Sure D fed and bathed them, and I came home to the kids almost or already in bed which was WONDERFUL, but someone had to stop the madness. After all there are only 5 nights in the work week. We prioritize church on Wednesday nights and the ballet lessons that we could afford happen to be on Tuedays at 6:00 which definitely infringes on dinnertime at 7:00 but I will just plan a crock pot meal for Tuesdays and we will have to eat out on Wednesdays or eat at home either super early or late. In general, I want us to eat good food together as a family every night. This is what I looked forward to when D traveled the world for 3 year- I looked forward to the time when he would actually be home and we could all be together as a family. So now, apparently, it is up to us to guard this time somehow and begin to say "no"- something that neither of us like to do. We want to prioritize family time in the evenings and also opening our home to others. This week we had the pleasure of having one of D's colleagues from France with us for dinner one evening. We absolutely LOVE to entertain and hang out with our friends, but when we allow ourselves to become so busy, there is no margin to fit anyone else into. I decided that instead of trying to keep up my French in a class of American women trying to speak French, it would be a better use of my time to actually invest in relationships with French people. This whole time and energy balance thing is getting more and more real to me as I get older. I would love to hear some of your stories and comments about how to maintain family time that seems to get crowded out by all kinds of good things. I believe that the health of the marriage and family is vital to the health of the kids, so I really want to find this balance in involvement in good things (church and extracurricular activities) and family life.