To "reel" means to be in a whirl or to behave in a disorderly manner. Disorder characterizes my house at this time and I certainly feel as if I am in a whirl(a disorderly one? yes!) My children are not sure where they are when they wake up, and I do not find this surprising as we have been in two different temporary housing apartments- one in France and one here, then we moved into our house and took a road trip less than a week later to Nashville, and now we are back at "our house"- with suitcases still open on the floor, most things still lost in the mass of boxes, and furniture that is not quite arranged yet. To top it all off, Daddy is gone to Thailand for two weeks. SA has changed schools, they both have had various caregivers over the past couple of months, we have used several cars in the past couple of months,and we've visited different churches as well. Everything has changed for them, and while I feel in a whirl personally, I cannot imagine how they must feel at all of the life changes that have been happening lately. Not to overdramatize the situation, I know kids are resilient, and thank God, because in this family they have to be. This week especially, SA has been talking about her friends in France and telling me that she wants to go back there. I have to admit I have been pretty nostalgic this week and missing life there too. It's a strange sort of feeling- being back in the US but not really being connected here. I'm still connected to people there and my children are more connected to people there than here (barring the grandparents, of course). After all they have lived most of their lives in France and not the US. We do plan to remain connected to people there (I am hoping everyone gets their webcams ready soon), but I need to choose to live in the here and now and patiently wait for the connections that will be formed here, gradually.
This week I am looking forward to spending time with the girls and getting settled into our new home more (a process that it is sure to take months) and just getting comfortable in our new surroundings. Hopefully we will establish a new routine that will provide more stability and consistency to their little lives (and mine too). Routine is sort of comforting. Those "d'habitudes" that are so darn important to the French- lunch break promptly at noon, closed stores between 12 and 2, nothing open on Sunday, and random closed days depending on the store and/ or the town all make for a rhythm of life that is distinctly not American. All of the things that I used to wonder why they couldn't just break out of, seem rather comforting now. It is nice to know that some things are sure- you know like the sunrise and sunset- in France you just get the "this is the way we do things here" feeling. So, when I was there, some of those things seemed like frustrating inconvenient constraints, but I adjusted to them and now they seem comforting- I guess you can tell that I am ready to find a rhythm in my new life here.
Tonight when we pulled up to our house after having dinner with friends, SA said, "Are you sure this house is ours, Mommy?"
Link to Notes on End Times Series 2023
2 years ago
3 comments:
I really enjoy reading your blogs about "the other side" of this experience. I pray that you guys get settled into your new life soon. I think this is all much harder on us than on our children... they do seem to adjust much more quickly. Hang in there!!!
Oh Rachael! We miss you too and I don't think I could ever tell you enough how strange it is to not have you just down the hill. The kids ask about SA and CG all the time, so know that they are obviously in the tribes' thoughts and hearts. This time is going to be tough, but it will sort itself out. Just stay true to you and what makes you tick. Regardless of the miles, you are still here with us all the time. LOVE YOU, the girls and even Danny so much!!! We'll speak soon....
It is strange to think of the things that I found so annoying when I first arrived in this "strange and foreign" land, are now becoming normal to my everyday life. I must say you are correct, there is great comfort in the "just the way it is". I even like the Sunday thing now...so strange to go back to a 24/7 world I am sure. Thanks for your insight. I love to hear how you're doing with the transition back. Good luck with the settling.
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