I should be stripping wallpaper. I have been putting it off and resting - and shopping for SA as she has grown out of everything quite suddenly. However, with just 6 weeks to go until Catherine Grace arrives, I am trying to focus on taking care of everything that we need for her too. We went stroller shopping today. It will take 6-8 weeks for a stroller to come in if we don't want to just take the lovely orange color that is available in the store. Bummer. D and I were laughing over a cup of tea earlier that one can't just walk into the store and just buy something. Even when we bought a used car off the lot, it took a couple of weeks to get it ready. I have no idea why. Apparently it is at least a month if you buy a new one.
Ok, so I have been in Mommy 101 for 2 years, and now I am graduating to Mommy 201. Help!? I have been wondering how I am going to have enough hands for 2 children. I suppose that this is a common concern whenever the second child arrives, but I would love to get some advice from those of you seasoned mothers before my day comes. My toddler does not like to be confined to her stroller, but this is the only way to ensure that she is not out of control in stores. Obviously this is a matter for prayer and discipline (and believe you me, I am working on it) but for now, that is the reality. Hand holding only works for about 5 minutes. Falling on the floor is another trick for having us carry her which I physically cannot do for much longer. We tried a harness/ leash contraption once that was ok for the airport as I felt like a cruel parent not to allow her out of the stroller or carseat during 19 hours of travel and I physically couldn't carry her with all of our hand lugggages and the cat, but it is not an everyday solution. I have received mixed reviews about the toddler steps that are available for trailing a stroller. What do y'all think of those? The saleslady today basically talked me out of buying one, because she pointed out that SA would probably not stay on the step/ seat. This was not encouraging.
What do I do at the grocery store when I have to get a buggy and take a newbornand a toddler and buy groceries? I know that the baby carriers are great, but what if the baby is asleep and the poor thing needs to rest in her carseat? One store has those really cute little carts for little kids to push, but I can just imagine mine crashing into the wineracks with it!
Then there is the diaper bag dilemma. I am not a light packer and I have not been able to part with my purse and exchange it for a diaper bag so far. I carry my purse and SA's diaper bag almost everywhere. It is a pain, especially since I am always chasing her and having to open and close doors (not many automatics around here). So I know adding another child as well as another bag is really a dumb idea as I am not an octopus. How does one keep up with all of the diapers, wipes, pull ups, sippy cups, antibacterial gel and wipes (for public toilets while we are potty training), snacks, and other mommy paraphernalia? I can picture myself now with my purse over my shoulder, a large diaper bag backpack, a baby strapped on my front, pushing SA in a stroller. That is crazy! How do you people do it? You mothers of more than one child? I just realized today that the pediatrician's office which is 30 minutes from my house with no public parking lot has about 5 steps before one reaches the elevator. This country is by NO MEANS handicap accessible, so you can imagine how it is for mothers with strollers! I already feel like I don't have enough hands for everything and everybody, but I want to keep walking to the market on Monday mornings in my town and buying fresh produce and bread... I don't know how to transport my purchases and my 2 children home. This American is having a hard time living the French life!
I do enjoy the differences of the French life vs the American life- sometimes. But sometimes I just miss the convenient lifestyle of America oh, so much! The restaurants that serve at whatever time you are ready to eat, take out food for those nights when I am exhausted, automatic doors, smooth surfaces for strollers, Starbucks drive-thrus, frappuccinos, people that bag your groceries, stores that are open whenever you want to shop.....Uh, oh, it's 6:15, I have to get to the grocery before it closes at 7:30!
Link to Notes on End Times Series 2023
2 years ago
7 comments:
Easy there sister!!! Take a deep breath!! You are going to be fine. Going from one to two is a bit of a challenge, but you already know the basics! It's hard to imagine what life will be like once CG is here at all so don't got overboard and try to imagine a day when you have to go to the bank, the market, and the doctor with both! When the baby is little, use that double stroller that's floating around the expats, the one where the car seat clicks in. Strap in SA and make the best of it. She might through a fit, but YOU are the boss and set the limit. Limit what you REALLY need to have on hand in your diaper bag. Call friends and ask them to take SA while you got shopping. Trade off with other insane mothers around here (I can think of a few!!) who can give you some free time to do chores that are impossible with two.
RHB, you are going to be fine. Relax and take it as it comes. Yes, it is more convenient in the US, but you live here right now. It is here that you will become a "mother of two." And it's here that you'll work it out. XOXO
I think I need to come hang out with you this week. Coffee one morning??!!?!?
Hey friend,
As I read your post, I remember feeling exactly the same way when Toot was born. (Ironically, there was no panic when my girl came along, go figure.) As I don't have any idea what your grocery stores or other stores look like, I wish I did, I can only offer limited advice. I would spend a week praying (fast from something other than food, whatever would remind you to pray a lot) and ask the Lord to lead you in the ways that you need to train SA. I spend several months training my #1 in walking into restaurants and stores holding my hand, holding the side of the stroller, etc. I had goals in mind and we worked towards them. My goals were: he needed to learn to hold my hand and walk into restaurants and not be carried. He needed to learn to sit in a double stroller without throwing a tantrum. He needed to learn to hold the side of a single stroller and not let go unless given permission. He was 25 months old when Toot came and we accomplished those goals. I set my eyes on the prize, and no didn't give myself the excuse in any situation to let him get away with disobedience during the "training time". (you know how you can get into a good conversation with a friend and see your little one disobey and look the other way as not to interrupt the friend? that's the kind of stuff I tried not to do.) He did receive loving swats on his hands a lot during this time. My plan was not to raise my voice or look at him in disdain or frustration, just to remind him of the rule, tell him I loved him too much to let him disobey and discipline him. I can't remember vividly, but I'm sure I prayed a lot for grace and patience and success! As my friend reminds me, "God still sits on His throne!". The timing of Catherine's (love that name!) arrival is all part of His loving plan. You will have rough days, but God will give you grace as you ask for it. His grace is sufficient (more than sufficient!). Your fears and worries are perfectly normal. Use them as an opportunity to have special prayer time with your Father. Love you very much!
Thanks for the advice! I am putting it into practice already!
Rach,
You are a very capable woman and I've seen firsthand the various tasks you can handle. That said, mothering is one way God increases dependence on Him. Having to realize I don't have control plus feeling a little helpless at times has been difficult...but so good for me! I want to teach my children to roll with the punches better than I do.
There's no denying it's pretty humbling to try to get around gracefully with 2 small children. Just when I think I look like a pretty chic (Frenglish!) mama, someone goes and pees in the Target cart on top of as-yet-unpaid-for merchandise (yes, this happened to me).
Practically, allow LOTS of extra time for errands, getting ready, household tasks, etc. LOTS. Did I say lots? Way more than you think. Then double that. Then add a half hour. Then that might do it, and if you do have a few extra minutes, WOO-HOO! My temptation is to squeeze in too many things, but this is not a race against time. OK, so I MUST go to the grocery store because someone is wearing their last diaper. But MUST I unload the dishwasher, fold laundry, pay 2 bills, and upload photos all before leaving? I really don't have to do all 577 things on the never-ending list before the sun sets today!
Can't wait to hear more about CG!
XO, B
Thanks, B. It helps to hear that I am not the only one that takes FOREVER to get out the door or get anything done. I always try to squeeze too much in as well. It seems that I need to acquire some super organizational skills in order to manage my life and get everybody where we need to be on time. I know that I need to get better at determining what must be done when and how much I can do, because I do consistently try to do too much. I do need to just depend on the Lord to carry me through and not worry that I don't have it all together. It's hard for me not to want to have it all together though. I think I'll be learning humility as well- although I hope nobody pees on anything to teach me that. :) Love you! Pray for me!
Rach
i'm late on this one, but i've been crazy busy myself. so that shows i can identify with this a little. i like what R said about training her oldest before the next one down was born. I did that with Amabel. It was a sort of must with the carrying thing as she was so heavy, I could not carry her or lift her into her carseat at the end of pregnancy anyway. She learned and by the time Aug came was fine holding my hand to walk and climbing into her car seat when i told her to (at 25 months as well). That said though, SA and Amabel seem to have different personalities. Amabel is ever so "responsible"- always wanting to do the next "big girl" thing. SA seems more laid back like she just wants to have fun (my kind of girl!) But I know you have said she likes to do what Amabel does. Maybe try telling SA that Amabel likes to "help" Aunt Abby push the stroller and treat her like it would be a big help to you. It requires extra patience, but it is a good way to keep that oldest one front and center. You can have your hands on either side of hers "helping" too. As for grocery carts, if they are like american ones, you can straddle a pumpkin seat over the front end of a buggy sideways and it is actually much sturdier and more level than putting it in the front where children sit anyway. If you can do it that way, SA can still sit in the seat part. If the buggy is extra wide like the ones at Sam's, that won't work, but then the older one can sit in the big part and "help" put things in. In a nutshell, for me, it's all about letting the older ones feel like they are helping me out. Both Amabel and August really like to feel like they are doing something special for the baby and to show what a "big kid" they are. Also, the comment about how much time everything takes is an understatement ;)
I found your blog through Abby's blog which I found because i am friends with a friend of hers from B'ham. Such a rabbit trail these blogs are.
Anyway I just wanted to say that my maiden name was Catherine Camille Grace. I go by Camille and ended up having to drop my last name, Grace, because I legally couldn't drop my first name. But all this to say that I obviously love the combo of Catherine Grace. It's a beautiful name.
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