AIRPLANES AND MIND GAMES


We have been back in France about a week now, and I finally feel like SA is back on schedule and we are both over our jet lag. This flight home to France was a killer as Little Miss Toddler did not sleep a wink on the plane. Instead she threw a tantrum in the middle of what was supposed to be the night. The flight attendant had to come and sing French baby songs and do the hand motions to calm her. I had a lady offer to walk her around the plane "for everyone else's sake"- How Rude! Another lady said loudly,"Give her Benadryl". If she only knew that I tried to give her Benadryl to no avail on the flight to the US. It only seemed to make her more excited. This trip was definitely marked by jetlag on both ends more than we have experienced before. On each of the 3 airplanes that we flew back to France on, picture D heavy-laden with an overstuffed backpack full of books and stuff that wouldn't fit in our overweight luggage and a large Britax carseat lumbering onto the plane in order to install seating for our little princess. Then picture me a few people behind him with the baby and diaper bag in one arm, my purse on my back and the cat in a carrier in the other arm meowing all the way to our seats. Who would want to sit near us?

Anyway, the flights were not uneventful. Let me leave it at that. To top it all off, two days after we arrived in the US, the "UK Transatlantic flights to the US" bomb scare took place. After having just flown from Charles De Gaulle in Paris to JFK in New York a couple of days earlier, I was really rattled to hear of this news. Then the day after we arrived back in France, the Delta Comair flight crashed. We had just flown Comair to Cincinatti, so news of that crash was quite rattling as well. Actually, I have noticed that since becoming a mother I have been alot more susceptible to fear and worry than I ever was previously. I know that concern over the safety of one's children is natural, but I am talking about more than concern. I am talking about worry and fear.

As Christians, we are commanded, "Do not fret (i.e. worry)- it only causes harm" (Ps. 37:8). So even though worry is natural for mothers, we are not supposed to worry? Oh, yeah, we are supposed to be living in the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit aren't we? Well, let's be honest, lately, I haven't been. But I am getting into the Word to get back on track. How are we to control something that is so natural like worry? How do we stop conscientious parenting from turning into fear of all of the "What ifs?" The prescription for worry that is given to us in Ps. 37 by David is the command to "trust" in verses 3 and 5. Do I trust the Lord? That is the bottom line question. Do I trust Him with the life of my child? Can I trust Him in every circumstance- even in times of terrorism and violence against children? If I believe that He is good and trustworthy, if I have put my faith in Him for the salvation of my soul, then I have no choice but to say yes, I can trust Him. I must trust Him. By faith, not according to my own feelings, I say that I will trust Him. Then for me, the Lord has shown me that step number 2 is keeping my mind from things that lead me toward fear. This does not mean that I plan to be like an ostrich with my head in the sand oblivious to everything that is happening in the world. It means that I realize that I need to choose to filter what enters my mind and choose to think on the things that the Bible says that we should think on- things that are "true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report" (Phil 4:8). For me, these things do not include extensive media coverage of the JonBenet Ramsey case nor do they include psychological thriller/ suspense type movies or TV shows that highlight bizarre murders and crime. I have this replay button in my brain that I must consciously turn off in order to refuse to allow those images to surface, because, for me, they fuel fear. So, this week's meditation in the Word for me has been Psalm 91. I am commiting verse one to memory and plan to use it as my weapon against this mental war against worry and fear:


"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust'."

As you might have guessed, I am lacking in the fellowship area over here, so this post has been my attempt at accountability. These are books that I am currently reading that are helping me to gain a biblical perspective on fear: Living Faith by Helen Roseveare and The Mighty Hand of God by Dale Evrist